This article was written as part of a response to the following;

I'm recovering from long term abuse. All my life almost - my father did the abusing. I don't know why I can't shake off the guilt. I feel cursed by God. I feel something was very wrong with me even at birth for these things to happen. I feel all wrong and unable to face the world. I don't go out, I don't speak to people. I am full of shame. Worse, I left my mother and sisters there and I'm afraid he will abuse them just to get at me. I can't help it if they want to tolerate him. I can't make them leave. They think he's the head of the family and obeying him is more important than any of our lives or dignity. I know its their choice but why can't I move on? I didn't hurt anyone or do anything wrong. Why do I feel guilty?

In the course of emotional healing, one of the biggest roadblocks we all bang into some time or the other, is Guilt. Guilt for things we don't know about, or have no connection with. Such guilt is very difficult to deal with because we didn't do anything in the first place, or didn't know we were supposed do something.

Sometimes we don't even know we carry guilt but we still go through the day feeling like God is angry with us and justifiably too. We punish ourselves in little ways without knowing it, cut our own success stories short - again without knowing why. This is a pattern so common in people now I cannot bring up enough instances of it.

There is Inherited or second-hand Guilt - guilt that stops us from living fully, living happily, because a long time ago a member of our tribe or clan or family did something wrong, or suffered very terrible conditions. We feel guilty for their guilt - or we feel guilty for living so well now. If we move on we feel guilty for 'forgetting' the things our parents or ancestors went through so we could live the way we do today.

There is yet another lethal form of Guilt going around though that seems to escape many. In many countries, inducing guilt in others this way, is punishable by law. In the Indian Penal Code (Act XLV - Section 508 , 1860) it is called Making someone an 'Object of Divine Displeasure' - the same name by which it is called in most countries that have penal codes that are close to or descended from the British code of law.

This is described as;
A threatens Z that, unless Z performs a certain act, A will kill one of A' s own children, under such circumstances that the killing would be believed to render Z an object of Divine displeasure. A has committed the offence defined in this section.

We still have strong bonds of common culture that make us allow certain people the right to abuse us and our loved ones and still be right. The majority of women and men even in domestic abuse situations are held there by this same 'understanding'. Long after some get out of the situation they are unable to heal because they themselves begin to perpetrate the injustice on themselves.

Somewhere deep down we tend to believe that the father or mother or elder that abused us had divine authority and our standing up to them was going to get others hurt - all of which is our own fault. Some also believe deep down that they 'asked for' the abuse. This is why sufferers of all sorts of abuse feel guilty and tend to continue to accept more abuse in other ways in life.

We need to uncover the 'Blind Spots' we have that allow us to become objects of "Divine Displeasure" or guilt for things other people did. These 'blind spots' for certain people actually stop us from ever seeing the reality of these people, their actions and our relations with them. We automatically refer to fictitious or programmed visions we have and continue with burdens of unexplainable guilt.

The TRUTH can set us free.

People do make contracts and agreements where we help and love each other through life. But Abuse takes a person out of the Love contract. You have nothing more holding you to your end of the deal once abuse sets in. That's that. Its always been this way. Doesn't matter who the other person or being is - your father, mother, sibling, friends, pastor, teacher or a complete stranger, doesn't matter why they did it. If it happened it happened.

We need to correct ourselves every day again and again from thinking we are responsible for others' actions or others being hurt by someone we angered with our independence or healing.

We also need to remind ourselves that we are as important and worthy of blessing as any other being in creation. This is very very important, so important that it is the basis of every spiritual practice ever instituted on earth. Even folk fairy tales teach us to have a strong sense of Justice - even if the perpetrator is a greedy brother or sister, egomaniacal tyrant 'King' father or vain selfish mother or power-hungry Uncle/Aunt/Priest.

Justice is the basis of all peaceful society on earth. Doing our own spirit, heart, and body Justice, is the foundation on which the very rhythms of nature rest.

But what about Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is beautiful and natural. For healed people.
If forgiveness means taking more abuse, or results in the same, or involves pretending the abuse didn't happen in the first place; it becomes deception and lying.

Stopping the abuse is Justice and causes Healing. This is the first step to true Forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn't cause healing. Healed people forgive.

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This article was written by K.C.Avnayt, a full time Holistic Health Practitioner specializing in Energy Medicine made from naturally existing energies - herbs, flowers and minerals. For more articles and healing information visit her website at http://www.Energy-Treatments.com. You may freely distribute this article or save to any electronic media as long as it is left intact, including the copyright statement above. © K.C.Avnayt About Us - Articles and List of Standard Energy Medicine Blends - Newsletters - Order Prescription Medicine - Contact Us - Energy Treatment for Dogs - Energy Treatment for Horses - Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - Sitemap

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